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Published on Saturday, February 8, 2014 by Common Dreams

Tens of Thousands in “Mass Moral March”

Pushing back against rightwing legislation

- Common Dreams staff

Tens of thousands of people are marching through downtown Raleigh, North Carolina Saturday in what organizers describe as a “Mass Moral March” to push back against rightwing legislation.

The march, also known as the 'Historic Thousands on Jones Street', or HKonJ, was organized by the NAACP and its NC president, the Rev. William J. Barber. The NAACP and Barber drew national attention last year for organizing the so-called Moral Monday demonstrations to protest “immoral” legislation enacted by the North Carolina Legislature.

The annual HKonJ march takes place the second Saturday of February and has grown over the years since it started in 2007. Organizers claim partnerships with 150 other groups representing teachers, working families, religious leaders and civil rights advocates.

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http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2014/02/08-0

Repost: HK on J: Why We March

From Kirin Kennedy, NAACP Fellow...
"This Saturday [February 8, 2014], in Raleigh, North Carolina, the local NAACP state conference will be joined by more than 100 coalition partners for a march on Jones Street to the North Carolina State Legislature. This is the 5th year of the march, and since its inception, the Historic Thousands on Jones Street (HKonJ) People’s Assembly serves as a rallying call for change to those with political influence. Whether it is the superintendent of the Wake County School Board, the Governor of North Carolina or other elected officials that work to keep the schools of Wake County, NC integrated, the HKonJ coalition rallies to ensure that citizens are protected equally under the law and that a space is created for good, safe jobs and schools within the state of North Carolina."

This march is a continuation of the Moral Monday protests at the North Carolina State Capitol Building in 2013. For gathering details and more info, check it: http://www.hkonj.com/

Want to go but not by yourself?  Let us know who you are below and we'll meet you there.

Repost: Ask Team Practical: I Hated My Wedding

2013 was the YEAR OF THE WEDDING. And no, we didn't hate our weddings collectively. We did definitely hate 89% of the wedding planning process (sh*t is wack, yo) but the weddings themselves, no! Except...well, except. Execept that some weddings have both highs and lows. And some of us brides end up with icky, bruising stuff happening during the wedding. Stuff that slams us hard down to earth and takes away from the memory and feel of our glowing, joyful ceremonies. 

This article by Liz Moorhead at A Practical Wedding Blog is THE most insightful and healing reaction to a fairly taboo subject: experiencing a disappointing joy-suck of a wedding. 

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Repost: http://apracticalwedding.com/2012/06/how-to-get-over-wedding-disappointment/

ASK TEAM PRACTICAL: I HATED MY WEDDING

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by Liz Moorhead, Contributing Editor

My wedding was over a year ago and while I’m thrilled to be finally married to my husband, I can’t get over my disappointment in my actual wedding day. We put so much energy and time into planning everything, and it still hurts to think about the ways that it didn’t go according to plan and the ways people were hurtful. I know that I should just be happy that we got married, and I feel terrible that I can’t just do that. How do I come to grips with the wedding we had not being the wedding we wanted?

Depressed Over Wedding Nightmare

Dear DOWN,

Don’t beat yourself up for this! Of course you’re upset that things didn’t work out as planned. That’s natural. Wedding magic doesn’t always make that go away. Sometimes it just helps to know you’re not alone. Take, for example, this post on not loving your wedding, or this one, and this one over here. There’s a lot of pressure out there to have the correct feelings about your wedding (and other things, too), and sometimes that’s just one more unrealistic expectation. Not feeling a certain specific way about major life events is okay; many people feel all sorts of different emotions. How can we expect every person to feel the same way regarding the really big things, when we rarely can all agree on the little things? (I honestly just don’t get the mustache trend. There. I said it.) Feelings can be complicated, whether we’re talking about weddings or moving in or changing our names or pregnancy. This pressure to have certain reactions devalues and ignores an entire spectrum of very real and very complex human emotion.

First thing? You need to forgive yourself for being disappointed. Then, you need to allow yourself room to do that. Rather than bottling up that emotion or feeling as though you’re not allowed to express it, let it out. Cry about it. Scream about it. Find a good friend who won’t mind listening to you whine about it. You have to give a wound some air in order to let it heal.

Superbowl Fail: Why we hated the Budweiser commercial

"On Jan. 8th, Lt. Chuck Ladd came home."

I watched the dude ride the escalator down to the waiting lady and I was confused.  She held out her empty arms for a long beat, waiting as he rushed down to swoop her up in a huge hug.  Why was she waiting at the bottom of the escalator?  I've participated in more than one Big Reunion, and couldn't imagine why she'd wait there.  Maybe it was a security thing?  Oh no wait, I got it- someone's taping this.

Someone selling horrible punishment water beer.  Maybe the commercial was going to show how the evil corporation supports our troops by shipping over cases of canned liquid consequences for them to use on the enemy, somehow.  I mean no one would expect the men, women, dogs, and tanks dedicated to protecting freedom to actually drink that stuff, right?  

Well, it got worse.  The commercial turned out to be an entire minute of reunion porn, in which an entire town gets together to throw a big parade and everything just for Lt. Ladd.  Which was beautiful and you bet I choked up.  I'm not made of wood.  And then I saw the red sign with the white letters selling horrible beer.  Wait, maybe there's going to be a message:  Let's have more parades.  Bring everybody else home, too. Something like that.  Nope.

Then the sportsing started up again and one team won and GI Echo drove us home.  I couldn't get that damn commercial out of my head- or the one for Microsoft that showed a soldier participating in the birth of his child via Skype.  There's a lot to be pissed about.  I expected the blogosphere to be peppered with pitchforks and torches, but it actually took a bit of searching to find some.  Here's a wee roundup:

It's offensive.  Don Gomez, called out the ad as offensive and exploitative for using troops to sell beer with no message or call to action.  He suggested that "If you want to do something for the military, do it quietly, without plastering your logo at the end."

Troops and alcohol, really?  Then there's Philip Carter at Foreign Policy, whose article Bad Bud discusses concerns about the legal issues associated with the production of the ad and the complex relationship between servicemembers, alcohol, and PTSD.  

They are using us.  And Rae over at LeftFace had quite a bit to say about the ad as part of a larger trend of exploitation on the part of pretty much everyone, especially politicians and corporations, of military families, which is especially outrageous in the face of recent policies that reduce benefits for veterans and fail to address the growing mental health crisis.  

Unrealistic.   A quick poll of people I actually know revealed little in terms of outrage, but one friend expressed concern that giving people the idea that troops are welcomed by town-wide parades could leave the impression that veterans are regularly given the warmth and appreciation they deserve.  Another said that many soldiers she knows came home to nothing but an empty barracks and not one single person greeting them at the homecoming.  For these folks, some of them teenagers, there was no welcome at all.    

Karen Francis in the Care2makeadifference blog talks about the harm of Reunion porn,

"If you watch our reunions, if you watch our farewells, those thirty second TV stories, with tears in your eyes — remember the other 364 days of the year that we need to work through.  Don’t cry for us, reach out a hand and get to know us."

Dog-Gone PCS

Little golden with the big brown eyes is cuddling next to me. She's not ours, but our buddy is having a gal's vaca someplace hot and tequila-fueled, so DH and I got to borrow her. She's just the best little working-at-home-helper ever.

The dog-sitting begs the question: does the Army have a puppy-crisis?

The stories are everywhere. My friend married just before a deployment and divorced just before he came home. His new/old wife gave his pitbull away before he returned to the USA. He was devastated. Short-term deployments, like vacations, mean having friends as awesome as us, boarding the pup, or trusting your roommate or significant other not to abandon them to the SPCA. Dog companions are almost as complex to manage as babies while being married to the military.

And look what I found: an organization called Dogs on Deployment with the express mission to help soldiers board their pets in the face of deployment and Permanent Change of Stations.

"Dogs on Deployment promotes responsible pet-ownership and the military-pet community by providing an online resource for military members to search for volunteers who are willing to board their pets while they're on deployment."

So the next time you're boxing up your life while Lassi watches, you can drop her off with us...or call in the Dog Deployment Cavalry!

The Fit List: Five Reasons to Feel the Burn

So I Married an Army Guy, and then I learned that staying motivated to stay fit can be a challenge for many of us.  Fitness is one of the major components of your partner's career, but sweating it up is important for the whole family- especially you.  We know you know this- we've been reading the mainstream discussion groups and we get the listserv emails, too.

Without further rambling, here are the Five:

5.  Active Hobbies are Portable, and So are You.

Think about what you've learned to like about your current living situation.  What do your awesome container garden, your feminist book club, and your meaningful volunteer gig all have in common?  They will take time to replace when you move!  And what about your fitness regimen?  Chances are good that you'll be able to find another CrossFit Box or upcoming race in your new community, and you can get started as soon as you get there.  One of the great things about military communities is that you can pretty much count on some kind of a fitness culture to tap into.  And of course, you don't need anything except a little bit of willpower to go for a walk or do a YouTube video.  

4.  Getting Moving Gets You Out There.

Running is a great way to get to know a new neighborhood.  So is going to yoga class at a community center.  And what about a fitness-themed Meetup group?  Go to the free gym on post and talk to someone.  Right now.  You can read the rest of this post later.  At the gym, there will be at least one other person who wants a friend, or at least knows where you can find a good cup of coffee.  Again, unlike work or clubs or most volunteer opportunities, working out is an activity that you can do today, right now, that will put you around potential friends, or at least a bulletin board with networking opportunities.  In fact, legend has it that two of your favorite progressive bloggers met on a running trail...at least that's what I heard.  Want to make friends?  Race them.

3.  You Need to Chill Out.

Living with (or near) military culture can wreak havoc on your progressive nerves.  The PX parking lot is full of guzzlers, most of which are adorned with intellectually bankrupt bumperstickers.   The TV in the clinic waiting room is tuned into Faux Newz and the remote is nowhere to be found.  The local spouses' social media page is crammed with poorly spelled posts about the evil big gubment- you know, the agency that employs most folks you both know.  You have to deal with all this crap all day, and Rachel Maddow won't be on for another two hours.  What to do with all your righteous fury?  Vote, of course- but for now, why not take it out on the treadmill?  Don't argue with idiots- race them.

2.  It's Better Together

We heard somewhere that soldiers have to take a PT test- at least that's what our partners are telling us.  One of the few parts of military life that's easy to live with is the built-in fitness regime!  Many of us have found physical activity to be a great way to connect with our partners on a busy schedule (get your mind out of the gutter- we're talking about biking, running, and paintball.) As badasses, we've frequently been accused of being unsupportive partners (and worse) by the conservative kool-aid drinkers, which is total bullshit.  We might not go to all the parades or whatever, but we definitely do our part for our soldiers by supporting their efforts to get ripped and beastly.  Let's be honest- some of them need it.  If those PT tests are stressing your partner out, it's time for some teamwork.  Find something fun to do together that revs up your heart rate- and when you're done with that, you naughty minx, go work out together.  Don't nag your partner- race her.

1.  Badassery Takes Training

Look at you, kicking ass out there.  You've been coping with moves, making new friends, blowing off the steam of righteous fury, and setting a solid example for your own partner.  Maintaining your relationship and your sanity amid the stressors of military life takes a boatload of energy on a daily basis- and taking excellent care of yourself is the best long-term strategy we know of.  You're going to get so good at this- but it might not happen by accident.  Why take chances?  Keeping up with yourself and being the strongest, fastest, and calmest you can be is not just a lifestyle- it's your mission.

So tell us, what exactly are you doing to kick ass and how is it working out for you?

Celebrating Harriet Tubman #GoogleDoodles

Ahh, the Google Doodles.

The fun, quirky, moving (sometimes literally) illustrated graphic or video that plays on the Google Search homepage and showcases a daily date/person/theme/event in history.

Where would we be without the daily reminder of Daylight Savings Time (dang useful!) or the pure delight that came from the Claire Du Lune video graphic honoring Claude de Bussey? And today, one of my personal favorite radicals and role model: Harriet Tubman- with her candle-lantern raised aloft against the backdrop of a star-strewn Northern sky.

Feministe.us suggested Harriet Tubman as a Doodle honoree in 2010 in a post titled "Google Says the World was Made, Made Pretty by Men"...but who knows if the Google Doodler reads Shelby Knox?

Google, I’ve got some suggestions for you. What about Ada Lovelace, the woman who was the world’s first computer programer and, conveniently, has a whole day dedicated to her celebration? If the guy who created the first nuclear facility in China gets a doodle, Marie Curie certainly deserves one. If you honored the birth of realism, you should also honor the (flawed, yes) godmother of feminism, Mary Wollstonecraft. What about some of the women behind the great social movements in the United States, like Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks and Dorothy Height?