So we totes know someone who was ASKED TO LEAVE an Army Wife support society because she had the balls to defend routine childhood vaccination on their social media page. Here in the MIL we are fortunate to have cradle-to-grave free medical care and caring, well-trained public health professionals looking out for us. That luck doubly extends to pre-natal and well-child care.
The thing about vaccines is that if one person chooses not to vaccinate their child, and every other child is vaccinated, that isn't a big deal until that kid comes in direct contact with German measles. When upwards of lots of kids in that geographic area are unvaccinated then bad things happen to good people. UNICEF, the Centers for Disease Control...they all say the same thing, this:
According to the CDC, one to three out of every 1,000 children in the United States who get measles will die from the disease, even with the best of care. Even if complications such as pneumonia and encephalitis aren't deadly, they can make children very sick; in 2011, nearly 40% of children under the age of 5 who got measles had to be treated in the hospital.
9/13/13 CNN article:"US measles cases in 2013 may be the most in 17 years" by Elizabeth Cohen Won't someone think of the children? Specifically, think of the babies...completely unprotected from measles until they turn 1 year. DO SOMETHING AWSOME. Be a vaccine ambassador and help to protect your community.
Have you ever heard of In Gear Career? Allegedly it is a for MilSpouse by MilSpouse career & professional network. According to the http://www.ingearcareer.org/ website:
In Gear Career’s local chapters allow career-minded military spouses to form powerful social and professional networks. Join us and meet other inspiring spouses and influential community leaders as we gather for professional development and social functions.
More research to be done but for now Team Bravo is impressed with the HomeFront Rising conference concept, which took place in Washington, DC this week. We missed it but welcome the opportunity for more outreach on how to run for office or pursue a political career as a military spouse. This Fayetteville Observer article by Drew Brooks gives more details here.*
*Representative Tammy Duckworth is hardcore. I'm up for hopping a commuter flight to hear her speak any time. #TeamTammy #TammyDuckworth
I'm a socialist in the streets but an anarchist in the sheets.#ActivistPickupLines
HAHAHAHA! Oh, I think I just died I was laughing so hard.
Oh Activist Cupid, you're the non-hierarchical leader of my consensual emotional AND heterosexual (but not narrow) love affair. Don't Camouflage this Love. #ActivistPickupLines
How many times have you seen or heard something like this?
"I'm fairly certain that my friend/neighbor/self may be getting hurt by his/her partner/loved one. I've heard noises/seen bruises/been scared. I'm concerned but I don't want to get involved/call the cops/put myself at risk/be wrong about what's happening. What should I do?"
Comments or posts like this tend to draw a flurry of urgent, firm instructions from well-meaning folks. We're encouraged by the level of responsiveness we've seen, and we hope that offering some education and some advice to our readers will empower some of you to better support your friends, neighbors, loved ones, and selves who are coping with intimate partner violence.
Note: we prefer the term Intimate Partner Violence or IPV over Domestic Violence, because dangerous relationships can occur in any setting- whether the partners live together or not. We also refer to people who have been hurt by loved ones as survivors, not victims.
Here's what you can do:
Know about the resources in your area, and how they work. This may take a bit of legwork- for good reason, many shelters do not have much of a web or social media presence, and do not publish their address. Calling a local or national 800-number for survivors of violence (Such as RAINN) will connect you with counselors who are trained to help identify and locate appropriate resources. Other options include staff at local faith communities, women's organizations such as NOW chapters, or even a liason unit at the police station. It's a good idea to know where to go for help so that you're ready to offer immediate, practical support to someone who needs it.
Educate yourself about IPV. Learn the warning signs and get some info about what you can and cannot do for a person that you're concerned about. Generally, it's much more complicated than "call the cops" or "dump his ass."
Listen. If you're able to do so, listen to the survivor without judging or telling him/her what to do. Supporting a friend who is struggling with ongoing threats or violence can be an incredibly painful experience, and it's tempting to try and jump in to offer solutions or help her problem solve. Don't go in there half-cocked, though- bone up those support skills, first. What would Oprah do? Get informed here.
Get support for yourself. If someone close to you is being hurt, hearing about it or just knowing about it can take an emotional toll. Even a single occasion of hearing your neighbors' intense fighting can be scary or upsetting, and it's worth it to contact an organization or professional in your community to talk about it. Do some self-care like yoga or blogging- before you're so overwhelmed you can't remember to take care of yourself. You will be better able to support your friend if you are well-rested and have your own emotional reserves in check.
Volunteer. Whether you're a survivor, a secondary survivor, or just a concerned (and informed!) community member, you can make a difference in the lives of survivors*. You may want to volunteer as a peer counselor or an advocate for survivors, but there are other levels of involvement that are just as important. You can organize a fundraiser, coordinate a wish-list drive for a local shelter, help stuff envelopes or other admin tasks, or even re-tweet your local organization's messages to help promote events or awareness campaigns.
Hang in there. A lifetime (get it?) of watching tv characters escape violent spouses by jumping into a heroic friend's car in the middle of the night can lead one to believe that IPV is like a house fire- an easily recognizable crisis with an immediate, scripted, effective response. There's no question of whether a fire is a fire, whether it's possible to put it out, whether it's a good idea to put it out or if it would just make things worse, whether the neighbors/family/boss/friends would judge someone for living in a burning building, etc. Surviving violence means making a series of decisions, and having the sense of courage and personal power to make decisions- some of them very scary- and follow through on said decisions. Supporting a friend or loved one who is being hurt means waiting for that to happen- which takes patience, respect, and love.
Note: the information provided in this blog is based on the experiences of the editors and is in no way intended to substitute the support available from legal, health, and social service professionals in your community. If you need help, please contact the folks in your area who are in the best position to provide the assistance you need.
The Red Flag Campaign: information and support from the National Domestic Violence Hotline
MilitaryOneSource: community-specific information, hotlines, and reporting options
*In fact, many organizations are too understaffed to respond to inquiries from potential volunteers, so attending an event or fundraiser, or helping to spread the word about the organization is a good place to start. We do not recommend "just showing up" to be given something to do at the organization's office, and we strongly encourage that you check first to find out what's needed before making an in-kind donation. Demanding a volunteer assignment or dropping off unwanted goods more than likely makes a negative impact by giving their staff an additional job to do. Help them help others by asking what help you can provide first.
Yes. Operational Security. Friend to you, me, our lovers, special forces, politicians and hookers. Not generally for the same reasons but helpful to all nonetheless.
Thing is, facebook is the opposite of operational security. Facebook is the lovechild of the NSA, the DIA, and the internet. FB was the American testbed for facial recognition software and, if you are an honest person, has all your pertinent stats. Where you are from. Who you married and when. Your DOB. Your travel destinations for the past 10 years (if you were an early adopter). Your parents' names, DOB, anniversary, maiden names, and each of your siblings and where they live. It logs your phone number and can connect to your PayPal and bank account.
Which is why announcing on FB that you or your lover is deploying, regardless of where or when, is a bad freaking idea. You, yes you, without any help has just blown operational security to hell.
Consider it this way: your lover goes to Pstan by way of Astan and something happens like s/he/ze invades the wrong country. The brother of that cousin from that place where the invasion took place goes to Alma Mater Univ and sees by way of their housemate that your boo who is identified as being in Marine Recon Unit Y went to Astan a week ago and then took "an unexpected trip. lolz. but all is fine now. WRONG COUNTRY- whoopsies." This dude is pissed bc a drone just took out half his family at a wedding party and now guess what? He knows what you look like. What your whole family looks like. Where you live, where your family/your lover's family lives, and thanks to that helpful FB rant... what that soldier did last week. But more. This dude can get to YOU.
Is that too intellectual a point? How about this one- would you feel comfortable putting a full medical diagnosis for a communicable gynecological issue on FB? Or would you choose to inform close family and friends about that intensely personal journey by phone or in person...someplace your ex or boss or random gal from high school French who stalks you occasionally won't get all the gorey details?
There is a time and a place for sharing. For information that can result in you or your person coming to harm, loosing a job, or being tracked by casual life observers...watch out. Be discreet. And for theb love of Pete don't post on FB the day s/he/ze is deploying.
One of the things I discovered about the US Military in recent years is that it is a convenient training vehicle for hard-core athletes and evangelical Christian militants. We'll discuss the latter another time. Today in the face of the Sochi Russian Olympics and Paralympics, let's keep an eye on the military members of the US Team.
