Monogamy Sucks

You know you're really married when even in your darkest sex dreams you tell your phantom lover that you have a husband. And sometimes in my dreams being married is a thing. Like dream sex is cheating. The thing of it is...I really never knew monogamy was going to be so tough.

Marriage is my first long-term relationship. Being with hubby is wonderful. Regular sex is wonderful. The idea of having hot, fantasy dream sex with disclosures for the next forty years...not wonderful. I did not expect to struggle with meeting hot, available people and forgoing a session or three of rowdy, uncommitted sex. I mean, I don't miss dating AT ALL. I know of few married folks who do and plenty of single people who hate it enough for all of us.

I wonder sometimes if I have it in me to do this. Don't mistake me, cheating is not what I'm after. I'm not sick of my husband or of marriage...I love us. It's just that sometimes I think I'd love us more if I could, every now and again, love other people. In the biblical sense.