Wednesday, March 12, 2014

#NPR Fresh Air Repost

Do you believe in serendipity? I do. Not just because it was complete serendipity that introduced me to my husband but because no matter what subject is occupying my mind, NPR has a story for that. For the Tminus15 minutes I'm in the car every day (I am SO completely bike commuting. Tomorrow.) the story finds me.
I will share with you now my NPR Fresh Air REPOST from March 11, 2014, an interview with author Brigid Schulte on equality in relationships (and parenting). The part about cooking for Thanksgiving really hit me right between the eyes.

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On parenting and the division of labor
When my husband and I got married, I was very adamant that I wanted a partner. Again, I love and respect my parents but I did not want the traditional marriage that they had. I grew up in a very different time and what I wanted for my life was very different. So I made sure that my husband, Tom, was also on the same page, that we wanted to be these equal partners. And we really were. We had a really fair division of labor, everything felt great.

And then we had our first child and I think, without realizing it, I felt that I should be this super mother and I felt like I needed to do everything that my mother did while at the same time trying to work like my father did, without realizing how impossible that was. ... That time when you bring the first child home is a crucial time for setting the trajectory of your relationship from then on out, particularly in the division of labor.

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