Friday, January 3, 2014

Resolution: Freight Loss

As you've undoubtedly heard, we are in great shape- but we could stand to lose like 400 pounds, collectively.  You're thinking gym time.  You're thinking Body Image Issues.  You've been reading mainstream blogs (admit it!).

We've had an excessive year!  The weddings.  The holidays.  The gifts!  

And now we have way too much...stuff!  As mil spouses, clutter busting is more than a good habit- it's a sacred practice and meaningful to maintaining optimum mental health levels required to effectively cope w all the army crap.  Everything you own is something that will, at some point, need to be boxed up and moved.  And unpacked.  And possibly repaired.  

Why did you buy that, anyway?

Anyhow, so this year I've resolved to cut the crap by enforcing the "one in, one out" policy that I've pretended to have for years.  

Before I went to grad school and realized I needed to keep all my textbooks forever.  
Before I got married and received champagne glass picture frames and a portable fireplace.  
Before I found out that all this crap I thought was recyclable actually wasn't so now I have to save it and think of an art project that uses it and do the art project and find the crap I kept and figure out the relevant art skillz and make some art and then...find a place to keep it.  

You guys I am so not even a hoarder.  But I figure, when India visits to do Jillian Michaels with me and I have to look in four places before giving up to do a free YouTube workout-  I have too much stuff, garbage, junk, rubbish, tchotchkes etc.

Or at least, I really don't have the organizational skills to manage my current inventory.

Onto the (poorly formatted) FAQs:

Do the trade-offs have to match?  Nope.  I can get rid of a worn-translucent pair of sox in order to buy a lip balm.  And I can use up a bottle of sunblock (uh, we still have like four) in order to get one of these. 

But...consumables count?  They take up space and cost money, so yes.  But we'll allow some flexibility so we can get more milk before we are totally out of it.  As a lady with five boxes of tea, four things of coffee, and...six shampoos...I will just say that yes, consumables count.  Pare that shit down!

How about objects of vastly different sizes?  We will figure that out later.

And magazines?  I seriously cannot answer that at this point. 

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