Wednesday, December 18, 2013

12 Days of Responsible Shopping: Do it in the kitchen

In which we try to buy US-made baking supplies

you're going to need all this crap
Hark, hear the bells
No, that's the timer
Your stuff is burnt
Better start over

Too bad I'm not as good at baking as I am at making up awesome songs about my lack of baking skills.  Anyhow, we're guessing you've been voluntold to bring cookies, cupcakes, and other treats to some type of event this season.  (We have so much to say about that but not in this post.)

So, you married an army guy and now you're supposed to bake stuff, and bring it to events, unburnt and festive looking.  If you're short on time or otherwise need to phone this one in and make something simple, decking your (peanut butter) balls with some festive presentation involving seasonal wrapping will save you some dirty looks- and might even be fun!

  For the sake of today's topic, we're going to assume that you know your way around the kitchen and that you're willing to cooperate with the mandatory baking.  (Because you live in a fault divorce state.)  Ahem.  We're also going to assume that you've gotten your head around the disposable paper-product aspect of community deserts and you're willing to use disposable paper products for some of your creations.  (Face it:  your partner will never, ever bring your pyrexes home from work and you live in a fault divorce state.).  Anyway, where are you going to get them?

Well, there's Major Chain Craft Store, but for some reason, you're not comfortable shopping there.  What about Other Major Chain Craft Store?  Well, that's also on the shit list.

or you could just go to a locally-owned bakery
You're going to have to go to Big Discount Store that you're not exactly on speaking terms with, but not boycotting, either.  Pick up some of those cupcake liners and treat bags.  I don't care, just pick some.  Whoops, those are made in a country known for wretched labor practices.  So are those.  And those.
What's the big deal?  Well, as a MilSpouse, we hope that you're especially interested in the health of the US job market, and that you feel compelled to do your part.  According to our friends at the news, your part is $64, and like so many great social actions, why not start it in the kitchen?

We know you're busy so we've pulled together a few links for your slacker ass to chew on.  Shut up about the shipping timeline- Hanukkah already happened but we heard there are some other holidays coming down the pike.

Red Baking Cups from Norton's
Food Presentation  supplies from the Container Store.  We love that CS lets you search for USA-made products on their website, and we really love the fact that Food Presentation is a category.
Dress My Cupcake will put whatever the hell you want on a cupcake wrapper and ship it out from their California factory!  Bonus- they make reusable versions.  Triple-bonus:  You said earlier that you suck at baking.  Wait, that wasn't you.  Anyhow- we have a tip.  We think you should totally get your partner's unit logo or whatever stamped on those things and that way, if you phone it in and just bring cupcakes from a mix or whatever, they will have the unit logo on them and folks will be sooo impressed.  We realize that's probably not important to you but some of us are in a bit of hot water for lack of team spirit and we need to get back on our partner's good side, stat.

YMMV, of course.  We're all about supporting the badass in every milspouse, regardless of where he or she is on the gung-ho spectrum in terms of involvement.  And we recognize that baking is just part of the reality of spousing- probably for other professions, too.

Hey, you could totally have a bake sale to raise money to Buy a Brick for the Military Religious Freedom Foundation!  What a bitchin' last-minute gift that would get you over a third-way toward your $64 goal!

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