Saturday, December 7, 2013

Life without MilSpouse friends

Our friend Judy at the Direction Diva blog pointed out that Battle Buddies rank among the basic needs for military spouses.  We agree, but we'd take it a step further and point out that you really cannot do the military marriage without some friends who get it.  Your partner is probably pretty much all about his or her buddies- we don't understand it either but we're sure you can find more info about that on a mainstream blog if you're that hot on the subject.  We're talking about us, now!

Take a deep breath (or sip) and walk with us into a world with no fellow MilSpouses to play with. Does this routine sound familiar to you?

5.00 AM  Wake up and kiss your partner goodbye (or whatever disgusting ritual you have in your house; what happens in your bedroom stays in your bedroom) and then he/she/ze leaves and you work out by yourself.  Your friends can't go to the gym on Post and they are asleep for another two hours anyhow.

Continued after the jump >>

12.00 PM  You are the only person who knows (and cares) about THAT Lifetime show.  You know which one we're talkin 'bout...

Yes, your coworkers, neighbors, and friends in civilian relationships do have Netflix, and no, these fine people are not made of wood.   Don't believe us?  Go to lunch and start talking about how Roxy did that impulsive thing and Claudia Joy had to fix everything.  Now look up and see the glaze on their eyes, the hummus-dipped carrots in their mouths, and the silence following your (highly compelling, we think) attempt at conversation.  They don't seem interested in how important it is that Pamela's Military ID reappears?!

2.00 PM  Watch the news and Twitter feeds. While the rest of the country was demonstrating solidarity for and/or backstabbing sequestered government workers on tv, only some of your close friends or family were peripherally aware. Every single person you've ever met through the Military is directly affected or related to someone affected by Sequestration. Ahh, Sequestration..otherwise known as when Post was a ghost-town, and your DH asked if hosting the Family Readiness Group coordinator for dinner sounded like a good idea because she won't be getting paid this month. 

3.00 PM  Review the To-Do and Honey-Do List. Do the things. Run the errands. Read the Tricare mail. Balance the checkbook. Look for a job. Read MilSpouse blogs that aren't about you and go on and on about things you couldn't care less about. Think that at least you're part of some kind of community. Detox with the section article on female mountain climbers and seasonal recipes that make your mouth water at

"Cranberry Syrup/Intensely Almond Cake" image copyright

6.00 PM  Your friends are eating dinner with their spouses, who are home for dinner.
7.30 PM  Your friends are at a book club because their spouses are doing the Bedtime Routine.

8.15 PM  Your spouse comes home and wants dinner.  You're putting the holiday lights up by yourself because your spouse wasn't home to help (and won't ever be) and your friends are at that goddamned book club.

8.45 PM  Your spouse is asleep because "tomorrow" there is some kind of push-up & yelling thing his unit is doing at 3.30 AM.
Damned if this isn't some kinda life!  Without the people to call and buddies to hug, things just get more lonesome. Say it with me now- It. Is. Goddamn. Time. To. Make. Some. Friends. Happily, we've been there and we have some suggestions. 

Tomorrow is a brand new day, dearie.  What will you choose to do?

Hit the gym * Find pet-owner comrades * Organize a potluck * Sign on to an Army Wives fan twitter account * Locate a radical economics documentary at your local independent cinema * a Spouse group * Ask a random FRG'er to lunch * Go to a book club 

-We realize YMMV so calm comments, please.

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